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So this person handed me some kinda slip of paper meant to signify some sort of something or whatever I dunno. I tend not to pay attention to shit people hand me on account of it is usually some ad for some bank or something. But this one had candy on it! A bribe! Yay! I dug into the Smarties with joy. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, thus it is always good to eat chalk-flavored sugar at 10 in the morning as your first meal.

The issue was that this candy was quite difficult to open as it it was taped to the slip of paper and the tape was covering the opening. I had to pry and rip and get angry. The candy was unsatisfying, and I didn't even eat the whole thing cuz I was frustrated with it.

This is a terrible business decision.

If you want folks to not ignore your little slip of paper, candy is a good attention getter. But in this case it backfired because you dickholes don't know shit about candy you bastards. Don't you know if that shit is taped shut it becomes damn near impossible to open up? Bastards just slapped that shit on without a thought. I deliberately ignored the little Free Taco or Credit Reports or Need More Spam In Your E-Mail? or whatever the fuck thing it was, ignored it with a vengeance. I was planning on just regularly ignoring it, but you forced my hand. This candy business was annoying, and thus I shall ignore with passion, an ignorance ten times more devastating than straight up not paying attention. Fuck you.