I'm Feeling Like A Four, How About You?

God damn. Look at me, I'm posting again. Again! What is wrong with me? This is just my place to dump random thought when I get bored, but according to my volume of posts I get bored way more often than I should. God damn. I've been looking at other people's blogs lately. They are most often political statements or poorly written poetry or junior high students (or at least judging from their typing abilities) writing about how much they miss their ex-signifcant other or hate their parents. And many of them are simply the bored, saying that everyone else is writing in a blog, so they must too. I hate this concept, but of course I fall into this category. I'm bored, and I really only got the idea for this blog from Joey Midwaye the Roostah, MC extrordinaire of the legendary Grasshoppaz crew. And here I am. Engaging in petty bitching much like that which I hate to read in other's blogs. I like to think that read other people's blogs to either find some cool one's (good luck) or to find shitty people and fuck with them on their comments sheets. But I'm sure a lot of it comes from a desperate want to have people read this. God damn. So as my roommate and his girlfreind get drunk and get burritos, I sit here and type fucking words into a god damned internet journal, a concept so trite it makes me whip out the word "trite". I hate doing this. I feel so much like all the people who write in these things, those friggin' morally superior bitch-tards with nothing of any importance to say but the pretensions to think that people are going to read it... God damn. I gotta get up at 7:30. Whatever. It'll give me an excuse to go to sleep earlier and stop writing this stupid journal. Stupid journal. Grr. Maybe I think about this shit too much. Who cares if I engage in something that some people I dislike engage in? I do a lot of that, come to think of it. COme to think of it, why dislike these people on the basis of these things if I do them myself? I drink, I smoke, I write dumb-ass internet journals, I check my e-mail far more times a day than I should, I wear mainstream rock t-shirts and talk about bands I've never actually heard to make other people think that I'm hip to the scene... I hate people for doing these things, but I do them a lot. Almost everything I do I try to preface with "I'm not really into this" or "I'm not the kind of person who does this usually" or do something in some vain attempt to set myself apart from the others who do it... But why? Why bother? It's simply pretentious to think of myself doing something as better than when others do that same thing. And being pretentious is another thing on that list. I hate pretentious people, but I am often pretentious. God damn. I think it's even a little pretentious to think of others as pretentious, because merely by saying another is pretentious is to say you are better than them, thus an air of pretention is attached to you. And I do this all the time. Maybe I think to god damn much. God damn. I'm too fucking hyper-aware. I should just shut up about all this crap.

The problem is that people are not defined by specific actions or specific things they engage in. Many people, myself included, tend to judge people based solely on one thing or another. "Oh he drinks?" "Oh, she likes that band?" "Oh, he said this to this person?" But then again, specifics of a persons life often are a sign of who they are as a person. Those who say "fag" off the cuff now and then tend to harbor homophobic feelings, whether or not they even realize it. Those who drink can be incredibly obnoxious, both while sober and under the influence. And everyone who likes The Starting Line sucks ass. So maybe it's not right to judge someone too harshly for specific actions, but take them into account along with other things they do? Of course this assumes that every individual must be judged, and I don't think that's true. It's not a responsibility to judge others... God damn. Here I go again, with my "Statement, Counterstatement, Tangent, New Statement, New Tangent, Insult Of Band I Dislike, Counterstatement, Tangent, Attempt At Clever Wordplay" mode of writing. Granted this is keeping my boredom at bay. Listening to Herbie Hancock and chillin' in my room writing bullshit is a way to keep boredom away. But I still sound like a fucking dumbass writing all this, peppered with the occasional needless profane statement. God damn.

I will say this, though: My online bitching is far more wordy and thought-out than the online bitching of others. I haven't even mentioned a girlfreind and/or presidential candidate yet.

I'm glad I don't have an audience because they would all be alienated at this point.

Starting Line suck.