If These Walls Could Talk, They'd Say "There's Dried Semen All Over Me"
Out of all the letters the internet people could've picked to start every website, they had to pick a series of three W's. Why W? Sure, it stands for World Wide Web, which makes sense in this context because that is what it is, but they could've come up with some other phrase to abbreviate that wouldn't be so lunky. I mean, having to say "WWW DOT" in a real-time conversation is a hefty bitch, a garbage truck of awkward. Just listen to the letter: DUH-BULL-YOO. That is an ugly fucking letter. It is gross. No other letters have three syllables, all the rest are neatly confined to a single, easy to remember syllable. Remember singing the alphabet song? Now I know my A B C's and all that crap? Like two measures of that song are devoted to the behemoth that is W! It threw off the whole rhythm, tossing in a beast of a letter like W. W is like a sentence. Saying three sentences before even getting to the name of the web site is too much, dammit, too much. Sure, pairing three of the same letter together is easy to remember and in the long run mquite beneficial, but W? From all the letters in the alphabet they choose the one with all the emotional baggage. Nay on a tidy M, and nix that comforting S. Bah!
I tend to think people who refer to themselves being "happily married" as sneaky and up to something.
Sometimes when I read a typo, I like to go back and look at the misspelled word and read it again and again in an attempt to decipher its true meaning. Sometimes I look deeply at where the letters on the keyboard are located to try to figure out how someone would make such a typo. If the letter accidentally put into a word is seated aaaaaall the way at the other end of the keyboard, I know something is up. No way did they accidentally put the letter Z into the word "plum". That Z could not have simply snuck in, it was invited, and yes, even encouraged. I like to assume all typos are completely intentional and that they refer to a word that I've never seen before. "Iot" can't mean "It", that's too obvious. No, "Iot" must be some new word I haven't discovered yet, possibly slang or robot talk. Even though "It" would make the sentence make total sense, this must be a new rare word that changes the meaning of the sentence completely.
Cats dump in boxes. Its a fact.
Christmas is a horrid sham that makes everyone hate each other, but we all love it. Especially Burl Ives.
I tend to think people who refer to themselves being "happily married" as sneaky and up to something.
Sometimes when I read a typo, I like to go back and look at the misspelled word and read it again and again in an attempt to decipher its true meaning. Sometimes I look deeply at where the letters on the keyboard are located to try to figure out how someone would make such a typo. If the letter accidentally put into a word is seated aaaaaall the way at the other end of the keyboard, I know something is up. No way did they accidentally put the letter Z into the word "plum". That Z could not have simply snuck in, it was invited, and yes, even encouraged. I like to assume all typos are completely intentional and that they refer to a word that I've never seen before. "Iot" can't mean "It", that's too obvious. No, "Iot" must be some new word I haven't discovered yet, possibly slang or robot talk. Even though "It" would make the sentence make total sense, this must be a new rare word that changes the meaning of the sentence completely.
Cats dump in boxes. Its a fact.
Christmas is a horrid sham that makes everyone hate each other, but we all love it. Especially Burl Ives.
posted by MC Harv at 12:53 PM
2 Comments:
in my part of the world we say
dubdubdub.whatever.com
goes a lot faster.
that is, when we need it. now the dubdubdub seems to be going by the wayside, with these catchy, hipster new urls, sans dubdubdub.
ha! they're dubless.
I don't know what that means, but it was funny with two glasses of wine in me.
I do like W, and many W words tickle my proverbial fancy, but I always tend to freak the fuck out when I see three of the same letter next to each other.
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