I Have Gaffed A Gaffer

I guess a local team won some sort of sports game. Seems to be an increased amount of ruckusing about amongst the people within earshot. Yelling and shirtlessness abound; should I be interested, maybe? Should a lone eybrow be raised slowly and specifically above my left eye as I make some sort of high-toned questioning noise through my teeth? Should maybe I investigate further so that tomorrow, when asked if I saw the game, I can at the very least say "No!" with a sense of prior knowledge? So many purposeless yet distinctly probing questions pass through this mind of mine; I refuse to answer any of them. It would take power away from their asking. Can't have that.

The other day a guy on the other side of the train platform began to yell at us. "WHITE SOX!!!" he yelled. "WHITE SOX!!!" he yelled again. I think maybe he yelled a third time, possibly further. I didn't keep track, my notebook and pen used to write down the number of times someone did something were not on me at the time. His girlfriend yelled like a "WHOO!" or a "WHOOT!" or something (how many zeroes in "wh00t", by the way? I'm not good at math). The guy then shot back with some garbled sentence involving the word "Sex". It's really the only word I can pick out of garbled sentences, maybe that and "marshmallow-riffic", which isn't even a real word in our dictionary, so scratch whatever it was I just mumbled. I think he was saying something along the lines of "We had sex at the stadium!" I certainly hope they did: I always hope people are having entertaining sex lives so I have something to be jealous of. The chant quickly turned into simply "SEX!!!", disregarding any notice to the original baseball team in question. Well, sex is as good as anything else to cheer, I suppose. More valid than "I am incontinent and am a widower!!! WHOOO!!!".

Rain that falls dilligently from the sky on the bare-chested rapscallions what be running back and forth in celebration seems not to distract them from their ultimate goal: Being drunk and yelling about... something. Baseball, I guess. Maybe they won the lottery. Maybe that new Desperate Housewives episode was just really, really good. They're not really saying anything in particular, just yelling. Yelling and running. And running back. Then forth. Jumping. Arms being thrown in the air, I also believe they were relatively apathetic as to this particular action. I didn't watch the game, did they bring back your dead puppy from sixth grade at the end of it? It is the World Series, innit? I suppose they're justified. Local boys made good, everyone loves to see the team with the city they are currently in at the front of their name hit a ball well.

A solid fifteen minutes and cheering dies down. Cars have returned to hitting people in the middle of the street rather than honking in wistful comradarie. Legs got tired. Shirts realized they were way too wet. Refridgerators weeped at the lack of beer inside them. And all went quiet again. To one who didn't watch the game, it might as well have been a bunch of drunks I didn't know, yelling about how great of friends they were with everyone around them and how they can't remember the last time they jumped rope. I could've been asleep, oblivious to any event taking place, tossing sullenly as the assholes woke me from my sub-gentle slumber. Hell, I could've not even heard them and gone on with my life, completely unfettered by whatever it is that may have happened. To me it could've been no more than an empty bottle of Pabst sitting silently on my front porch, riddled with memories of the previous nights sport-inspired debauchery. Somewhere, someone's getting laid. Someone's "really fuggin' drunk, dude". Someone lost their bra and doesn't care. Maybe someone got hit by a bus or fell on third rail. And nothing worthy of mention will happen to me, other than an easily forgettable loudness eminating from outside, registering with me just enough that I will be able to forget it rather than ignore it. Would something happen to me if I were a White Sox fan? Would my life change drastically? For most, I'm sure this is just an excuse to party. But with that excuse comes an acceptance that yes, something will come of this. Your acknoledgement of the games existance and perceived importance will change your life, whether noticably or not. For me, the noise annoys and I go to sleep. I am unfettered, here's hoping you fetter more favorably.

Go Sox.