Come With Me To My Death Machine!

Today I applied at a cereal bar that is about to open by my house. I began to question whether this was a compromising of my principles. I have previously been outspoken against the concept, and I still think it is a pretty dumb one. A restaurant that only serves cereal? Come on. When I first saw this concept on the Food Network a while ago, I was a little irked by its impetuous premise: All you do is pour fucking milk in a fucking bowl and I have to shill out 7 fucking dollars? Fuck. I saw it as a fad, another indication of hipster-elite non-restaurants that throw in our face how silly they are. It didn't seem to be devised by or tendered towards true cereal connoisseurs as it simply shills out your basic O's and flakes and wheats and whatnot. No surprises, no obscure brands, no real soul. Do you people really feel a cereal bar is something that ought to exist, or is this for the buck? There is no artisanship involved, no passion for the subject. Boo on cereal bars, basically.

On the other hand, I like cereal a lot, and the idea of being able to stop by after class and just get a bowl of Lucky Charms without having to buy the whole damn box is slightly appealing. It would seem silly if a bowl was comparable in price to an actual box, but who knows? I really just assumed gastronomical prices because I am one of those cynics who yells at TV. Also, cries of "you're not really doing anything for me I couldn't do myself" change their face when behind the counter. All of a sudden the place is simply a really easy job, one that is nearly impossible to fuck up, plus I'm sure I'll get to eat tons of cereal. I truly have a passion for cereal, one that has declined in my "grown-up" days (mainly just because it's out of my price range). I could talk your ear off about some pretty uninteresting things, and I have a true love of the confection. Cereal sort of deserves better recognition, there's nothing wrong with raising awareness. The issue I have is it seems these bars don't share my passion. But perhaps that could all change. If I worked there, I would talk cereal all day, eat cereal all day, discuss cereal with other cereal patrons and work over the history of cartoon figureheads who love to eat wheat despite being lions. I have a desire to change the industry, to turn it into a haven for other cereal-philosophers to come and find those rare cereals they can't get anywhere else. When I took a look at the menu, I was a little bothered. All real basic stuff, no real imagination involved. No Cracklin' Oat Bran? No Boo Berry? No King Vitamin? I could sneak into the dorm cafeterias and steal the same selection they have. I really would love to see them branch out and try some weird cereals that may find a niche market and open up new possibilities of what a cereal bar can be.

My hope is that my interview is simply me discussing how much I love cereal rather than "Can you pour two different things into a bowl also with a spoon oh and how about mopping is that a thing you do". Fuck that. Ask me my opinions on the Mikey commercials remakes, the rumor of the discontinuation of Wheaties, the tragic death of the other two Cinnamon Toast Crunch chefs, and the reprehensible change in focus of Cookie Crisps appalling dog-centric ads. You ought to have to write essays to work at this place. Every employee had better have a deep interest in the field, otherwise I believe I'm in for a big disappointment. But if I work there, I can perhaps be a driving force for change, and hopefully revolutionize the industry.

Basically, when it comes down to it, I don't believe applying there is a corruption of my principles because having a job in the first place goes against what I believe in. Corporations, money, and especially working dipshit jobs are all evil and wrong, but thats what living in a capitalist society is. I gotta eat, so I gotta get a job. Might as well be one I can eat cereal at all day.