Garble Hey What

I am working hard, people. This man is doing all sorts of things and actions, trying to make the most of this little muddle called life. Why are we here? Who put us here, and is he watching when we go to the bathroom? I do things in there I'd prefer he not see. I am being paid to write words, which is a first. For a while I was writing words, and not one of you pathetic audience members thought to say "Hey! Have some money." This disappointed me, because sometimes I need to have money if I want to either purchase something or continue having a place to live. Right now I live with my parents. Yes, I know what you're going to say: "Wasn't there a Matthew McConaughey movie where he did that?" I will say in response: "No! You're silly. Angels in the Outfield was much more of a paternal metaphor, the male father figure putting faith in arenas outside of reality and personal responsibility, relying on the outcome of a baseball team to determine his relationship with his son. This rather forgettable picture has little if anything to do with my current living situation." That's how it'll go down!

Basically, though, I don't have to spend money on rent right now. How about that, huh? That is not to say that I am suddenly Captain Moneybag, or perhaps that tycoon who adorns that Milton-Bradley game. Nay, I am as broke as ever. If you want to get technical, I have three jobs. How is it that I can have three jobs while the rest of this economy is tanking, leaving no jobs for anyone? I am selfish and greedy, and what's more, I hate America. Yes, I would like to see the American worker suffer, because they are so terrible and they always have ulcers when you don't want them to.

I am trying (feebly!) to push forward with music business. I am making (crappy!) music whenever I get the chance, and am trying to do more and more to keep up the momentum on that whole thing. Updates on that as they arise (arise!).

I have three blogs now. I get paid to do two of them, this one is for writing stupid inane shit like this, and soon I will be making one more with two colleagues of mine (when you are professional, you call your friends "colleagues", because then every time you get drunk together, it can be a business meeting!). I know this blog began with severe trepidation regarding succumbing to a popular internet phenomenon, but this no longer concerns me. The culture and bullshit which surround certain things I am involved in (blogs , mySpaASe, facebook, public universities) no longer even come into play; instead I like to look at things for their base merit. Before, when I heard the word "Blog" I said "ew. That's something that people have begun to talk about, and thus I must turn my head away in fear that I might succumb to the wiles of modern civilization." Now I'm saying: "Cha-ching! I can sit on the computer and take dumps in the monitor and suddenly people want to give me money! Fuck it, I don't care if blogging is lame! I'd much rather sell my soul doing something menial like this than shit bagels down your throat for a living!" So much of this post is dominated by imagined conversations; nothing in quotes is an actual quote.

Well, ugh. I've said something on here now, that oughta keep it alive for at least the next month or so.