I Am Aware Of The Existance Of Breasts
(Before I continue with this post, I would like to give a quick but much-needed "fuck you" to blogger for losing my post. I spent a good half hour on that bitch, and this one I'm writing now is a second-rate carbon copy of the original and has lost much of the wit and vinegar that can only come with the enflamed passion of a first draft. Blogger can eat my shit, as soon as my shit is nutty and frothy enough for them to deserve it. I'm off to eat some prunes, carrots and quesadillas, and then you're mine, bitch.)
I'm always unsure of what to say when some guy leans over to me and says something along the lines of "That girl has nice tits,". How do I respond to this? What does he expect me to say in return? Does he feel that I am somehow visually impaired and cannot see the tits for myself? Or does he doubt my abilities of recognition when tits are involved and wishes to inform me that these particular tits are worthy of notice? Does he place himself as the "tit expert" and wants to let us laymen know the subtle differences between "nice tits" and merely "adequate tits"? What can I possibly say after this?
- "Yeah, she does!"
- "No, she doesn't!"
- "I am unaware of this concept you refer to as 'tits' and thusly will have to discontinue this conversation, good day."
Typically I simply respond with a non-commital "Yeah" and quickly leave the premises. Am I intended to turn this realization of nice tits being had into a full-fledged thoughtful conversation? The statement itself is both a conversation starter and killer. There's nowhere I could really go from there, other than moving on to other body parts which could be considered equally nice, but this would be an exercise in futility and the conversation would seem more dead and bloated and pus-filled than when we began. Besides, do I really want to continue a conversation with a man who's opening line is "That girl has nice tits"? He might as well have said "I'm a total jackass and you should avoid talking to me,". What does he hope to achieve by expressing to me his recognition of the quality of tits? How does that help me in any way? How does that help him in any way? What does anyone take away from this statement? If he were to lean over and tell me I had nice tits, I would thank him for the compliment (my tits are so non-existant, however, that they actually cave-in and no one in their right minds would ever compliment me on them). But how do I respond? They're not my tits he's complimenting. I can't respond with anything other than some monosyllabic grunt like "Yeah".
Straight men feel the need to express to other straight men the fact that they are straight men. I couldn't care less whether you like tits or not. Congragulations. You've managed to inform me, a complete stranger, of your heterosexuality. Good job, sir. Have a cookie. Why do straight men like to inform other straight men that they are straight? Is it for sense of comradry, or maybe in hopes to actually spark up a conversation based on their similar lust for womany types? Of course not, silly. Rather than trying to inform others of their heterosexuality, they are trying to reassure it for themselves. In their mind, they are afraid of their potential to be homosexual, and thus need to prove to others and thus themselves that it is not so. Much of the hatred and violence directed at homosexuals comes from straight men who harbor homosexual feelings but are afraid to admit it, and in order to prove to the world they're not gay, they'll hate or beat some gays. "Yeah. That'll show 'em that I ain't no fag."
Being in the straight men category, I've only really come across this concept of proving to others your sexuality with other straight men. Do women see a guy walk by and lean to a nearby women and comment "Wow, look at the cock on that guy!". At the same time, do homosexuals feel the need to prove their sexuality to other gays? I'm sure this occurs in all forms of people, but probably most often (and probably most violently) in straight men. Why? See, straight men are stupid. Think of the 10 stupidest people you know. How many of them were straight men? Exactly. It's kind of hard to be in of the, if not the, stupidest groups of all time (straight white men), a group who has basically fucked up everything there was to fuck in history since the dawn of man. Ah, the pain of being in the majority.
The reason so many people need to mask their homosexual feelings from others is because of the religious and societal teachings that ALL HOMOSEXUALS ARE BAD. Bad bad bad. Don't be like those people. They're wrong and evil. Hate them all the time. Grr. The Bible even says so in this passage that I either made up or took very far out of context. If God hates fags, so should you. Hate hate hate. Grr grr grr. Forget all that "love thy neighbor" stuff. That doesn't apply to the gays. Nope. They're morally wrong and they're all sexual deviants who want to corrupt our children. Hate them because I say they're bad. Bad bad bad. Evil evil evil.
It is this specific stigma that makes questioning straight men feel the need to mask their inner feelings with violence or simple hatred. Straight men objectify women and beat up gays in a pitiful attempt to prove to themselves and others that they are straight. Why? Why bother? Who really cares? If you like tits, you like tits. If you don't, you don't. Big deal. The problem is that people who are questioning can't let on to people that they're questioning, because, as I said before, being gay is bad. Bad bad bad. But the people who purport this feeling are typically similarly questioning straight men. See, in a perfect world, all closeted gay men who hate gays would simply simultaneously stop hating gays and go have sex with each other all the time. But unless it's simultaneous, there are going to be other straight men who have to mask their gay feelings who give the out individuals a hard time. If the stigma of gay = bad being stricken from peoples minds, straight men would be able to question their sexuality free of fear, and could realize that they are attracted to men. Or that they are actually attracted to women. Or both. I believe most questioning straight people would remain straight, but at least they would have thought about their sexuality and learned something about the nature of themselves. They would also be less hostile towards gays knowing what they were going through. Because, honestly, what makes being so bad? Huh? Why do people get so riled up over this seemingly trivial issue? People are people. Love is love. Who cares if guys want to be with other guys, girls want to be other girls, etc? The stigma in our society is so debilitating, and yet, when rationally thought about, is just silly.
The original post was better. Bah.
I'm always unsure of what to say when some guy leans over to me and says something along the lines of "That girl has nice tits,". How do I respond to this? What does he expect me to say in return? Does he feel that I am somehow visually impaired and cannot see the tits for myself? Or does he doubt my abilities of recognition when tits are involved and wishes to inform me that these particular tits are worthy of notice? Does he place himself as the "tit expert" and wants to let us laymen know the subtle differences between "nice tits" and merely "adequate tits"? What can I possibly say after this?
- "Yeah, she does!"
- "No, she doesn't!"
- "I am unaware of this concept you refer to as 'tits' and thusly will have to discontinue this conversation, good day."
Typically I simply respond with a non-commital "Yeah" and quickly leave the premises. Am I intended to turn this realization of nice tits being had into a full-fledged thoughtful conversation? The statement itself is both a conversation starter and killer. There's nowhere I could really go from there, other than moving on to other body parts which could be considered equally nice, but this would be an exercise in futility and the conversation would seem more dead and bloated and pus-filled than when we began. Besides, do I really want to continue a conversation with a man who's opening line is "That girl has nice tits"? He might as well have said "I'm a total jackass and you should avoid talking to me,". What does he hope to achieve by expressing to me his recognition of the quality of tits? How does that help me in any way? How does that help him in any way? What does anyone take away from this statement? If he were to lean over and tell me I had nice tits, I would thank him for the compliment (my tits are so non-existant, however, that they actually cave-in and no one in their right minds would ever compliment me on them). But how do I respond? They're not my tits he's complimenting. I can't respond with anything other than some monosyllabic grunt like "Yeah".
Straight men feel the need to express to other straight men the fact that they are straight men. I couldn't care less whether you like tits or not. Congragulations. You've managed to inform me, a complete stranger, of your heterosexuality. Good job, sir. Have a cookie. Why do straight men like to inform other straight men that they are straight? Is it for sense of comradry, or maybe in hopes to actually spark up a conversation based on their similar lust for womany types? Of course not, silly. Rather than trying to inform others of their heterosexuality, they are trying to reassure it for themselves. In their mind, they are afraid of their potential to be homosexual, and thus need to prove to others and thus themselves that it is not so. Much of the hatred and violence directed at homosexuals comes from straight men who harbor homosexual feelings but are afraid to admit it, and in order to prove to the world they're not gay, they'll hate or beat some gays. "Yeah. That'll show 'em that I ain't no fag."
Being in the straight men category, I've only really come across this concept of proving to others your sexuality with other straight men. Do women see a guy walk by and lean to a nearby women and comment "Wow, look at the cock on that guy!". At the same time, do homosexuals feel the need to prove their sexuality to other gays? I'm sure this occurs in all forms of people, but probably most often (and probably most violently) in straight men. Why? See, straight men are stupid. Think of the 10 stupidest people you know. How many of them were straight men? Exactly. It's kind of hard to be in of the, if not the, stupidest groups of all time (straight white men), a group who has basically fucked up everything there was to fuck in history since the dawn of man. Ah, the pain of being in the majority.
The reason so many people need to mask their homosexual feelings from others is because of the religious and societal teachings that ALL HOMOSEXUALS ARE BAD. Bad bad bad. Don't be like those people. They're wrong and evil. Hate them all the time. Grr. The Bible even says so in this passage that I either made up or took very far out of context. If God hates fags, so should you. Hate hate hate. Grr grr grr. Forget all that "love thy neighbor" stuff. That doesn't apply to the gays. Nope. They're morally wrong and they're all sexual deviants who want to corrupt our children. Hate them because I say they're bad. Bad bad bad. Evil evil evil.
It is this specific stigma that makes questioning straight men feel the need to mask their inner feelings with violence or simple hatred. Straight men objectify women and beat up gays in a pitiful attempt to prove to themselves and others that they are straight. Why? Why bother? Who really cares? If you like tits, you like tits. If you don't, you don't. Big deal. The problem is that people who are questioning can't let on to people that they're questioning, because, as I said before, being gay is bad. Bad bad bad. But the people who purport this feeling are typically similarly questioning straight men. See, in a perfect world, all closeted gay men who hate gays would simply simultaneously stop hating gays and go have sex with each other all the time. But unless it's simultaneous, there are going to be other straight men who have to mask their gay feelings who give the out individuals a hard time. If the stigma of gay = bad being stricken from peoples minds, straight men would be able to question their sexuality free of fear, and could realize that they are attracted to men. Or that they are actually attracted to women. Or both. I believe most questioning straight people would remain straight, but at least they would have thought about their sexuality and learned something about the nature of themselves. They would also be less hostile towards gays knowing what they were going through. Because, honestly, what makes being so bad? Huh? Why do people get so riled up over this seemingly trivial issue? People are people. Love is love. Who cares if guys want to be with other guys, girls want to be other girls, etc? The stigma in our society is so debilitating, and yet, when rationally thought about, is just silly.
The original post was better. Bah.
posted by MC Harv at 4:48 PM
5 Comments:
i think sodomy should be legalized and gay people should be allowed to have as much buttsex and they could possibly ever want. I've never truly understood where all this homosexuality hostility comes from. Yeah, a large part of it has to do with the Bible, but alot of people just straight up hate gay people. They simply don't find ladies attractive. Shit, sympathize with them damnit.
It's the same reason people are racist: fear and the need to shelter their own insecurity. Then again, who really knows?
I would like to say that everybody from all orientations seems to enjoy talking about the relative attractiveness of othere folks body parts. That said, if someone just randomnly informed me of their opinion, I'd be a little confused.
-Thomas
Hear, hear! (Or is it "Here, here"? I've never really been sure).
I have no problem with the general discussion of body parts. Everybody does it. But when a random guy subconsious grasp at their own sexuality. Why would they think I care about how hot she is? If anything, you're keeping me from looking at her by talking to me.
I've always said, "hear, hear," it's like, "let's hear some more from this person who is quite in the correct."
I agree with you, standaards of decency demand that you shut the hell up and let everyone look.
-Thomas
I'll admit at times there are individuals that I can't help but comment on, but I usually do so to colleagues and well-wishers rather than random people. Maybe it's just that I don't like talking to random people in the first place.
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