You Can Always Tell What The New Big-Budget Epic Movie Is By The Specials They Air On The History Channel

Most concerts I go to, people don't dance right away. No matter how dancable the music is, some need prodding or persuasion to rock the fuck out. I, however, will dance whenever given the chance. Sure, I'll be tired some days and not be fully into it, but that hardly stops me from dancing at all. Granted, I can't dance for shit when you take into account legitimate dance styles, but come on. It's 2004. There are no legitimate dances around anymore. Dancing has become sex without the sex. All people do nowadays is bump and grind and hump and fondle and generally make themselves look like whores. And you know what? That's great. At least they're moving. I hate going to see a band that I absolutely love and feel the need to dance like a maniac just to see no one else in the crowd moving at all. The show is improved tenfold when the entire crowd is completely into the show, for instance Mouse on Mars last Friday (best show ever!). That's why, even when no one else is dancing, I get up and dance harder for their lack of interest. My dancing style is basically spastic. I have no steps or preconceived ideas of what I'm going to do. It's all freeform, baby. I treat dancing like a demon has found its way into me and I need to shake it out before it eats my soul. I get much inspiration from the pogo and skank styles of British punk and reggae from the 70's, as well as 80's hip-hop and break. Everything I need to know I learned from Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. I can't dance for shit, actually. I just go on pure energy and pure look-like-a-foolery. But so what? When I get up and dance, it tends to inspire those around me to dance. I actually got stopped in Wicker Park the other day by two random people who went to a show I was at who congragulated me on my dancing. That made my day. People need an instigator like me to show them "Hey, this guys acting like an idiot in front of everyone! I suppose I can too!" I am the fucking party.

Why do people have trouble dancing immediately? Embarrassment. Everyone simply stands to the side or near a wall and bobs their head occasionally. They feel the need to look cool at all times. Fuck that. Cool's not cool. All the cool folks do is sit to the sidelines and point out people dancing and say to themselves "Look at that idiot". That damned Terror Squad song is terrible and wrong for hip-hop as it was meant to be because its chorus encourages men not to dance, because they wouldn't be thugs if they danced. This seems to be how people act at shows. They lash out at others who dance because they are embarrased to do it themselves. You know what I say? I say fuck embarrassment. It's pointless. You don't need it. Embarrassment is the least necessary emotion of them all. Fear is necessary, as it prevents people from jumping off a bridge and such. But embarrassment? Embarrassment is simply social fear, and is completely useless. Looking like a fool in front of people is not going to physically, or even emotionally, harm you. You may feel like your emotions are being harmed when embarrassed, but ultimately the feeling is completely consequenceless. People may talk about you or make fun or dislike you if you do something embarassing, but they're probably jackasses anyway and you shouldn't care how they feel about anything. Go ahead. Do embarrassing things. Make an ass of yourself. Who cares?

Embarrasment is a natural feeling and happens to everyone in socially awkward situations. But because it is not necessary, you should try to train yourself not to feel it anymore. In situations where you may be embarrased, such as speaking in public or dancing, simply ignore and get beyond this embarrassment and just DO IT, ya pussy. The feeling of embarrassment is slightly annoying, but so what? Who cares, really? It's a minor bother that people blow way out of proportion and treat as the worst thing in the world. People find themselves physically unable to do certain things because of their embarrassment. Why? Embarrassing situations aren't going to hurt you. Get over it.

Now, I would like to pepper this statement with something: This does not give you the right to be a jackass. The only positive I can see to being embarrassed is that it prevents you from being a total dick. People not embarrassed to piss on the subway or scream obscenities at the top of their lungs or wave their dick in front of you and yell "SAY HELLO TO HERBIE... DUH...." are not a good thing. Granted, most of this comes from being drunk. Being drunk is a funny concept to me because the drunk people I come into contact with are total jackholes and do the most obnoxious things I've ever seen, much like the way I act when drunk. I enjoy being a jackass while drunk, but dislike those that do the same. It's a quandary, I know, and this makes my stance on embarrassment pretty muddy. There must be a line to be drawn as to where things are pointlessly embarrassing and where things are simply obnoxious behavior. I like to think that it's more than just embarrassment that keeps people from shitting in their hands and rubbing it on their ankles, but who knows? This could very well be a natural tendency that people do not engage in simply because of the social awkwardness that would occur.

So basically, I'm just trying to say that it's ok to look like an idiot in front of people. Dance your heart out. Sing your lungs out. Get past your social fears and just fucking do it. However, always bare in mind when you're going from being the dude with no inhibitions to the dude who's a total asshole. This is of course going to be subjective to each individual, and being drunk blurs (literally) the line between the two, so I don't know. Maybe I'm hurting more than helping by trying to dispose of embarrassment. I just basically wanna see people dance.