I Bleed Out My Vagina

I've noticed that my average blog post is far longer than any paper I've written so far for school. It certainly didn't seem that way until I actually compared them on a word by word basis. These shits is long. I think the fact that these go directly from my brain to here with almost no editing or even though sometimes is a major factor. My teacher keeps trying to scare us with the painfully empty threat of "the six page paper!!!!!!!!" Six pages? I could take a dump in a McDonalds bag and write about it's significance to 1870's Lithuanian poetry for six pages, easy. The beauty of double spacing makes for some easily filled pages. Posts aren't double spaced and are in a very confined area, hence it's an optical illusion that they seem smaller. Optics, man. It's all optics. Like when a tree falls in the woods? Total optics.

This was a dumb post, but that's alright. I am doing this out of boredom once again rather than out of having something to say. That's the other interesting part about blog posts being longer: More often than not, I have absolutely nothing to say in them. In papers, I have something very specific to say. I'm trying to convey a specific point through convincing arguments and books I pretended to read. They have thesis statements and introductions and conclusions and persuasive language and the whole lot. Yet somehow I am able to write tons more when I write about what happened to my shoe today:

"I got new shoes for 4 dollars at the thrift store because my old pair has holes in them. The toe of my sock keeps getting wet, and wet socks, as we are all well aware, is not my cup of tea. These new shoes are termed 'street formal', as they could easily be worn with a tux as well as with bank robbing outfits. Perfect for a hobo's wedding. I stepped on the tip of the shoelace and it got kind of scratched up, but visually it's not noticeable. Texturally, there is a clear difference between the aforementioned lace tip and the other lace tips, but the amount of times I actually touch it long enough to notice is so negligible that I wonder why I even brought it up in the first place. The bottoms are cleated, as in they have cleats (got it?), so this could certainly have attributed to the new texture caused when stepping on the lace. These cleats certainly come in handy on the ice, as it is icy outside, as it is winter, as water tends to freeze in said season. See, because it makes it easier to keep my balance and not fall when walking on ice. If my ne shoes were New Balance, I would chuckle very minimally to myself about how they keep my balance and the word balance is in the name, but would quickly realize it is neither funny nor worthy of mention. Alas, they are not. They're Pony's. Not as cool to say as my old pair, Lugz, but certainly better than some dumb-shit like 'Reebok'. I'm not going to call them 'Reebok's'; not on your life. I miss my Lugz. Maybe I'll duct tape them and still wear them on occasion. The hole is pretty big though; at that point it might as well be a freaking duct tape shoe. "

That, my friends, was 1006 words. Without even trying or thinking. I remember back in 4th grade when we prepared for weeks on a 1000 word essay. Now I can shit one out my brain like it was two for one burrito night. I think part of me has set a standard of writing long posts that is difficult to get past. My small posts have penis envy of my larger posts. I could easily have left this post at one small paragraph; I think I stuck that shoe part in less as proof and more as filler material. But what do you care, you know I'm full of shit anyway.

Maybe it's time for bed. I'm in that mood again...