I Hope Your V-Day Doesn't Turn Into V-D-Day
Hey, it's Valentines Day, innit? How about that. Interesting that it falls on a Monday, the most depressing day of the week. Actually, come to think of it, Valentine's Day is in February, easily the most depressing month of the year. You've just gotten into the most drab and downer part of winter, and on top of that the holiday season is over so there's nothing to distract you from how much life sucks. It's about as far away from any time or event that one might be looking forward to, and despite being only 28 days long, it seems to last for-fucking-ever. (Also interesting to note that it's Black History month. Yeah, you blacks can have a month to celebrate your history, but it's gonna be the most shit-storm ballsmoking, not to mention shortest, month of them all. Enjoy!) Few things are more depressing than being lonely on Valentine's Day, and it only helps to accentuate it if the weather and surroundings are utter shit. At least after V-Day candy drops in price and you can eat away your sadness. Who cares if you gain weight; no one will love your ugly-ass anyway.
I suppose having Valentine's Day in February may be for some an attempt to make the month better, but somehow sugar-coating the blah with pasty candy, Shrek 2 cards and impulse-aisle flowers doesn't seem to cut it. The holiday is far too based in consumerism to truly make anyone feel better about anything. "Aw, a talking Mr. Wonderful Doll? I knew you loved me!" Does anyone buy/enjoy recieving bullshit like that? There must be some sort of community of thoughtless gift-givers and airheaded gift-recievers out there, because these things exist, which is proof enough of some sort of demand. Then there's these golddiggin' hoes that expect expensive jewlery and shit. That is the main problem with this holiday is the expectation. You have to buy your special someone something. You have to. It's Valentine's Day for chrissake, what kind of a boy/girlfriend are you? How is that an expression of any kind of feeling if you feel so damned obligated? Anything you give is meaningless because the day mandates that you give it. This holiday is simply the invention of Hallmark and Russel Stover as a way to squeeze as much guilt-money as they can out of susceptable couples, and in turn the rise in awareness of these couples existance kicks those without anyone in the teeth.
Obviously this is not an original opinion. Everyone nowadays thinks they're all rebellious by saying "Yeah, I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. It's all bullshit." Ok, granted, I agree with them, but I believe their stance on it lies more in the desire to not have to do shit than in the desire to take a stand against corporate proliferation. If you come off as crusading against Valentine's Day, you won't have to do shit. Most people like to use the handy excuse "I don't need a day to tell my [significant other] I love [them]. I don't need to give gifts on a specific day; I give them whenever." This, of course, is bullshit. No you don't. Admit it. "Just Because" flowers typically imply "I'm giving these to you 'just because' I slept with my secretary on your bed". Besides, if you gave your whomever everyday gifts anyway, why not use Valentine's Day as an excuse to give them gifts? You don't need to buy into all the corporate bullshit; make them something. Make sweet love to 'em real sexy-like. Be nice to them. Do good. Who fucking cares if Valentine's Day is bullshit; we all already knew that. It's bullshit in the sense of corporate whoring and monetary expectations, so fuck that shit and focus on the concept: Love. That's right. Love people. Even if you ain't got nobody, be kind to your fellow man. Plant a tree. Give a homeless dude a sandwich. Valentine's Day is an excuse to love and be loved, so quit yer belly-aching and start shakin' some sheets.
I suppose having Valentine's Day in February may be for some an attempt to make the month better, but somehow sugar-coating the blah with pasty candy, Shrek 2 cards and impulse-aisle flowers doesn't seem to cut it. The holiday is far too based in consumerism to truly make anyone feel better about anything. "Aw, a talking Mr. Wonderful Doll? I knew you loved me!" Does anyone buy/enjoy recieving bullshit like that? There must be some sort of community of thoughtless gift-givers and airheaded gift-recievers out there, because these things exist, which is proof enough of some sort of demand. Then there's these golddiggin' hoes that expect expensive jewlery and shit. That is the main problem with this holiday is the expectation. You have to buy your special someone something. You have to. It's Valentine's Day for chrissake, what kind of a boy/girlfriend are you? How is that an expression of any kind of feeling if you feel so damned obligated? Anything you give is meaningless because the day mandates that you give it. This holiday is simply the invention of Hallmark and Russel Stover as a way to squeeze as much guilt-money as they can out of susceptable couples, and in turn the rise in awareness of these couples existance kicks those without anyone in the teeth.
Obviously this is not an original opinion. Everyone nowadays thinks they're all rebellious by saying "Yeah, I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. It's all bullshit." Ok, granted, I agree with them, but I believe their stance on it lies more in the desire to not have to do shit than in the desire to take a stand against corporate proliferation. If you come off as crusading against Valentine's Day, you won't have to do shit. Most people like to use the handy excuse "I don't need a day to tell my [significant other] I love [them]. I don't need to give gifts on a specific day; I give them whenever." This, of course, is bullshit. No you don't. Admit it. "Just Because" flowers typically imply "I'm giving these to you 'just because' I slept with my secretary on your bed". Besides, if you gave your whomever everyday gifts anyway, why not use Valentine's Day as an excuse to give them gifts? You don't need to buy into all the corporate bullshit; make them something. Make sweet love to 'em real sexy-like. Be nice to them. Do good. Who fucking cares if Valentine's Day is bullshit; we all already knew that. It's bullshit in the sense of corporate whoring and monetary expectations, so fuck that shit and focus on the concept: Love. That's right. Love people. Even if you ain't got nobody, be kind to your fellow man. Plant a tree. Give a homeless dude a sandwich. Valentine's Day is an excuse to love and be loved, so quit yer belly-aching and start shakin' some sheets.
posted by MC Harv at 2:53 PM
8 Comments:
Happy Valentine's Day to you, too, Jack. :)
At least African Americans get a recognized month.
Well, for those of us with nobody to shake the sheets with sans the old standby, it's a lot less enjoyable. I hate Valentine's Day because I'm a bitter, under-sexed single male.
That said: I agree with your post because you are dead on.
-Thomas
Why spend 30-60 dollars on flowers to tell someone you love them when your penis can do the same, and is free.
Love. Right on the head Jack. Philia, eros, all those greek words. Choose one, that's wut its all about. It makes the mothafuckin world go round.
My mother gave me a freakin' Mr. Wonderful on a KEYCHAIN. WTF am I supposed to do with that??? If you're giving out toys for Valentine's Day, shouldn't it at least require batteries?? Where's the love?
"Why spend 30-60 dollars on flowers to tell someone you love them when your penis can do the same, and is free."
Good one, Greg. They may be free, but they're all taken these days...around here anyway.
Tu es la lumiere de ma vie, la joie de mon esprit.
That's what Valentine's Day is for, I think--making foolish compliments in French that I would be too embarrassed to type if they were translated into my native language.
Listen to Jack, everybody. I think he's on to something.
She does have a point there.
No wonder you don't have a girlfreind, MB.
another reason for February sucking is Lent. Sure, one might say "Fuck it, I'm not religious", but that won't destroy the past nightmares of trying to abstain from meat on Fridays and feeling incredibly guilty the minute they found themselves eating sausage after completely forgetting. February is truly the worst month on the calander.
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