Lance Your Boils To The Sweet Sounds Of The Monty Gaxton Explosion Of Aural Variations
Alright, I've holding this back for some time; I don't know how long exactly but several years at least. Jay Leno: SCREW-DLE YOU-DLE IN THE POOP POOP PLAZA. Ranting against Jay Leno as an individual, a concept or a chin is not new nor original. I do not care to accomplish such unnecessary feats here. I have been stewing about a particular joke he cracked during a monologue on his ill-deserved program a few years back:
"The band Megadeth broke up today. (pause for audience recognition; take time to shake chin, mug at guitar player, say "yeah, yeah, that's right") Yeah, turns out they ran through all the combinations of the three chords that they know." (audience laughs, they are not sure why as usual)
See, Jay, I know your staff writers write all your jokes and you just kind of garble them out, but this one should not have passed the rehearsal. You see, you are thinking of punk music, which is as a style stripped down, simple and focused on simple chord structures. Metal music, the type of music Megadeth plays as implied not only by the name but the drugs and hairstyles, is focused on virtuosity, skilled musicianship and varied, dramatized instrumentation. Punk music was spawned through a direct opposition to this style of music and is more akin to fit the profile of the joke you made than does Megadeth. Do not mistake: I have no affinity for Megadeth and I intend not to defend their honor here. This is a message to those who do not understand styles of music and the differences therein. Megadeth know more than three chords. They probably broke up for "artistic differences", bottles thrown to their extremities at concerts, losing a key member of the band to heart failure, drowning in vomit, or religion, Metallica-related lawsuit, or the collective realization that they were not a good band. They did not break up because of your oh-so-clever joke about unskilled musicianship. Piss on it, Jay Leno, for there is no ground for your barbs to be planted.
"The band Megadeth broke up today. (pause for audience recognition; take time to shake chin, mug at guitar player, say "yeah, yeah, that's right") Yeah, turns out they ran through all the combinations of the three chords that they know." (audience laughs, they are not sure why as usual)
See, Jay, I know your staff writers write all your jokes and you just kind of garble them out, but this one should not have passed the rehearsal. You see, you are thinking of punk music, which is as a style stripped down, simple and focused on simple chord structures. Metal music, the type of music Megadeth plays as implied not only by the name but the drugs and hairstyles, is focused on virtuosity, skilled musicianship and varied, dramatized instrumentation. Punk music was spawned through a direct opposition to this style of music and is more akin to fit the profile of the joke you made than does Megadeth. Do not mistake: I have no affinity for Megadeth and I intend not to defend their honor here. This is a message to those who do not understand styles of music and the differences therein. Megadeth know more than three chords. They probably broke up for "artistic differences", bottles thrown to their extremities at concerts, losing a key member of the band to heart failure, drowning in vomit, or religion, Metallica-related lawsuit, or the collective realization that they were not a good band. They did not break up because of your oh-so-clever joke about unskilled musicianship. Piss on it, Jay Leno, for there is no ground for your barbs to be planted.
posted by MC Harv at 8:48 PM
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