I Don't Think The Beach Boys Fully Thought Out What They Were Proposing

Think about it. If everybody had an ocean, that'd just be too much. There's, what, 294,754,350 people in the United States? That's a lot of fucking oceans. The Earth is not nearly large enough to support that many oceans. It's about 75% water as is with a mere seven. Where would they all go? We don't have room to store oceans. People can't just have them in their backyard or stored away in the garage. A lot of people don't surf and wouldn't even use them. The Beach Boys imply that if you had your own ocean, then justifyably you would simply have to start surfing. I feel not everyone would be surfing. Even those who hadn't ever surfed, for lack of an ocean to themselves, would probably get bored of it eventually. And then you've still got this fucking ocean sitting around going to waste. People would probably set dirty clothes on it or shove in a box in the attic.

Beyond that, each American having an ocean would be yet another example of the "We're the US; we're the shit" that so many country singers tout around that, frankly, I'm just sick and tired of. If a government mandated hand-out of oceans came to each person, so many insecure shit-toting Americans would puff out their chest, stuff their pants with socks and push Arab people around saying "We're America! We have our own oceans! We're the best country on Earth!" The fact that everybody'd be surfin', you know, as though it were Californyeyay, would not forgo the simple fact that Americans are dicks and would use this ocean thing to boast their supposed superiority. I'm sure at the time the Beach Boys simply thought that the world would be a better place if people all across the nation surfed more often, which may or may not ring true, but granting eveyone an ocean is not a very rational ideal to strive towards. Realistically, it would hurt more than it would help.