Maybe N.W.A. Just Didn't Like "Roxeanne"

Hey, are you on the Facebook? How about MySpace? How about AIM? What's your AIM name? How about MSN Messenger? Then you've got a LiveJournal, right? I know you have a Xanga. You've got to have a Xanga. What's your oh-so-clever moniker, so I can look you up on the internet and we can pretend to be friends? I need to add more people to my buddy list so I can feel secure with myself as a popular individual. We can chat online and relay our list of favorite media to one another so we can each feel like we're indie by knowing who the Arcade Fire is. How's your rating on Hot or Not? Are an appropiate number of random people you'll never meet jerking off to it? How many e-mails did you get today? I got a whole bunch; I should forward you some of the really unique jokes I got from my friend Tadzillicus from Argentina who is apparantly a real life samurai! See any silly clips of crazy unrestrained wackiness on eBaum's World today? Have you seen the one where the kid is singing along to a cheesy pop song and doing ever-so-silly dance moves to it? Oh my god, you haven't seen it? Drop everything. I'm sending you the link. Funniest thing ever in the history of forever and ever! I was DYING! Let's reference that clip next time we're outside really loud so everyone can hear how cool we are. I suggest we use that clip in conversation every time we talk to each other, at least until the new most hilarious internet clip ever presents itself to us. Hey, do you know if this band is any good? My friend has them in their profile, you know, next to all the smilies and movie quotes. There, I just downloaded their entire discography in six seconds. Did you see the new Family Guy? Yeah, I saw it six weeks before it came out; someone leaked it onto the internet. Oh man, did you see this clip where this guy sings about America? It's soooooo funny!!! da_dawg-haus-696969696969696969696969696969666 and I were laughing forever! Isn't irony that smacks you over the head just the funniest damn thing ever?
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I hate the internet. Having a blog makes me feel dirty because now when people ask if I belong to any internet communities, I have to tell them begrudgingly that, yes, I do, and hang my head in shame. I try to justify it by saying all I do in this blog is talk about how blogs suck, but then I realize the only thing "cooler" than following a trend is to follow a trend but at the same time pretend like you hate the trend. I feel like such a hypocrite. Oh well, everyone's a hypocrite to some extent. I subscribe to the classic "Everything sucks when everybody else does it, but when I do it it's ok" mantra, but at the same time hate the people who do the same, which is everyone.

Thank you internet for both creating new shitty trends and for having them exposed to me faster and to a greater degree. The last thing I need is a reminder of why everybody, including myself, sucks.