I'm So Confused Anymore

Most of the memories I have of myself from when I was younger are of me acting dumb. And I mean at every age. Yeah, I was dumb as a kid, all saying naive comments that made all the growned people laugh and take in the simple innocence of youth. But later on when I was a teenager I was dumb too. Because teenagers nature is to be dumb, to think more highly of themselves than they deserve. You get a little older and you start to realize how you've grown since then, how you've become a more mature and intelligent person. You think of the things you did and said and enjoyed and felt and think how far you've come along. But you haven't really. Another 5 years from now I'll look back at what I've got written here and say to myself, "Wow, the old me was so foolish! I'm glad I've moved on to the smart, upstanding individual I am." This will likely be followed by me running into a wall and falling to my death off of the highest cliff, in true ironic fashion.

Essentially, then, no matter how smart we are or think we are, we are always fools in retrospect, and hence always fools. If my present self is an idiot to my future self, then my present self has no right to feel superior to my past self for my past self's idiocy. All work I've ever done has looked poor in comparison to work I'm doing now, which in time will be loads of shit. Maybe I'm looking at progression and growth backwards; I should instead be viewing it as an ascent from the past instead of a descent from the future.

But I'm a pessimist, people, you knew that.