Fux Innernets

There is a young couple sitting together at a candlelit dinner inside a circus tent, staring blankly at each other, a smile on both faces. A dog sits in the corner, staring at the couple; every so often the couple throws the dog a treat. When the dog eats it, a red heart floats above his head, likely expressing his love for the treat. A heart of equal size and color floats above the heads of the couple, likely expressing their love for one another; though each one of these hearts are essentially the same, it is unlikely that the love the dog feels for the treat is of equal value to the love the couple feels for one another (I think Socrates would have a thing or two to say about this situation).

Also, Arnold Schwartnegger (sic!) can bench press more than George W. Bush can, evidenced by Arnold's muscular physique and beaming smile and Bush's potbelly, flimsy arms and large frown. We can help George W. Bush improve if we desire, but I don't really think we do.

There is a pig of an amazing length and girth who has the two letter abbreviation of each of the fifty states carved into his left side. The pig seems to be content with this situation; he is netiher bleeding nor frowning, a smile stays with him forever. I personally hope if he was going to have this sort of horrid ordeal happen to him that at the very least someone got some bacon strips with state names on them, but this remains to be seen.

Elsewhere, if we can shoot Eminem we can win a thousand dollars*, or perhaps a free iPod*. The bounty hunter who hired us is as of yet unnamed, but we've learned in our experience not to ask questions.

What the hell, people.