My Walls Look Like Cake

I can no longer sit idly by and watch as some dickholes type blog while pretending they are pets or babies. If you are typing, you are not a pet or a baby. Putting a picture of a pet or a baby in your profile does not make you said pet or baby. I know full well that I am not Bob, and I am comfortable with this. Be comfortable with you are. If you want to let little Junior who is six seconds old type a blog, have him do it. Let him flail lifelessly on the fucking keyboard until he squeals in agony and see if that agony translates well into the "NDAIJBNDOI0GWEAJKSNJSJNHDUHR3R7Ihui&uzhHIASKKAKABS DIASHDCIASSJAN8a*nubnIUBibvuyagvuyedb" he'd be typing up, rather than this "I am but a child of three, I mean free, cuz that is how little kids talk and also type I guess! Mommy fed me today, and has no issues with my behavior! Also, I am intelligent enough to type coherently and in logical English, but not enough to dress myself or prevent feces from dropping out of me at inopportune times! Oh, and ga ga and also goo goo for good measure and a reminder that I am a baby" bullshit you sicko parents letch out. Typing "I chase mice and cough up hairballs" does not make you a cat, your cat hates you for the misrepresentation and would claw your eyes out if you didn't need them to feed it. "My owner says..." You are the owner, dipple-shit. Get over yourself. This whole "I'm typing as a cat" business is just so you have an excuse to write in the third person, isn't it? Fuck you. Your sweet home-town values needn't be projected through LIES AND MANIPULATION. Keep babies and pets off the internet, dammit. Their input is not needed on news items or as a voice of what quaint things are happening around your house. You want to talk about your pets or babies, be my guest. It's the lying that gets to me. Are these values you want to teach your children/dogs? That forgery and false identification are not only okay, but encouraged? Go away.

"junior took a dookie in the fishbowl and i have to clean it up"