Hay D00D How Come Is It U Doesn't Do Blahwwwg No More

So I haven't posted in nearly a month. Check the date of this post and also the date of my previous post and you will be able to affirm this testimony. Why, you ask? I mean, you are asking me why, right? You do care that I haven't been around, don't you? It tears you up inside, right, not to able to read my words every day, full of brim and full of smile? Huh? Your breath has been baited, I hope? A worm is dangling from your breath in hopes that a fish will find the worm delicious and sensual and be attracted towards eating it and thus trap itself in its own foolheadedness, giving it ample time to reflect on the ultimate existential perils of its own greed and desire? You're seeing it hopefully as like when ABC plays another god damned clip-show/this-is-what-happened-the-past-season of Lost; ie you're freaking the fuck out, tearing open pillows and rodents in a fervor of anitcipation? Come on! I know you, fellow readers, you've been leaving loads upon loads of comments on my previous post stating how you're sending out search parties to find my body and that dying children with cancer are counting on me to get angry at a computer or line at a convenience store. You've just got to know what's happening in my life lately, right? Huh? Your pants have filled with urine out of an uncontrollable need to live vicariously through my words. Many have never even met me and this is your only connection to my life; for me to take that away from you is like me not to Sunday brunch on Easter. The eggs are rotting and the bunnies have long since melted as your tears plummet and mix smoothly with the Hollandaise of sorrow. Well, for this I apologise. You deserve to hear all about the petty insignificant things that may or may not have occured in or around my life. You deserve it, and dag-gum, you're gonna get it. Prepare thyself.

As usual, nothing really has happened to me. I moved. I now rest my head a couple of blocks away from where my head previously rested. I think the rest of my body came with it too. As I will be moving home after this semester, I sent all my shit back home and now have but a sleeping bag, clothes, and a box of miscellania to my name. I live in a corner. I use my dirty clothes as a couch. How awesome am I. I'm squatting, essentially (except that I'm paying rent), for a month and a half as this is a two bedroom place and I'm boutsta biggity boo anywho. I figure I should probably take on a heroin addiction if I'm going to live up to my status as a smelly corner-dwelling bum taking up space in some dudes place. It'll be grand: needles and tubing lying scattered on the floor, plain white t-shirts with yellow pit-stains and blood spots hanging from cieling lights and ovens, hair to my ankles, attitude to the MAXimum. Scabies in my armpits and fungal infections galore(ious!); man, what a time to be alive.

I guess in reality all I'm really doing is the same I've always done: Sleep, scrounge, laze, waste, excrete. Nothing more, nothing less. So other than my back pains and lack of privacy, nothing is terribly different. Which really just makes me all the more itchy to spring forth the fuck outta here. I cannot cannot cannot wait for summer. (Thank God this ain't no fuckin' MS Word or some balls as there would be two squiggly red lines staring me angrily in the face. Red. The color of fire. The color of passion.) I am enjoying my classes, at least, and the roommate situation is becoming tolerable at least. One is being more old school and friendly, the other is confining himself mainly to his room. I am doing some cool things, and mainly I am doing some lame things, such as staying in the apartment on weekends and... sitting on a pile of clothes. There isn't much to write about; I wish my absence had been due to some Amazonian adventure involving wine, women and some sort of monster with gigantic teeth that when you think about it would make you go "that [noun] ought not to have gigantic teeth like it has there, it ought not,", but no, I just ain't been up to the task of introtroning about my lame life.

Whatever! Laughing out loud.

I ain't even wallowy anymore; wallowing is for when you've got a comfortable bed or a tub full of chocolate syrup. Instead I am resigned, I have accepted, and just basically ready to move on. I am so prepared to leave that if you told me I had to ship out in an hour to an off-shore oil rig for the safety of mankind, I could and would.

Have fun you kids! And WEAR A CONDOM!