To Put A Can On A Coaster Is Simply Too Much Coaster

So I never discovered the origin of the puddle. But I don't think it was my roommates. So, apologies to them for all the words I had yesterday, though likely they will never be read. It was in all likelihood the cieling dripping, on account of it is squishy and holey like a sponge cake, but it still seems like a shit-ton of water, and underneath my blankets no less. Who the hell knows how it got there. Either way I had a shitty night last night and it made for a shitty day today. Shitty Mondays lead to shitty weeks. Shitty weeks extend to shitty months, which eventually through a series of terms of ever-growing amounts of time, my life will suck forever and I'll have to leap off a building while slitting my wrists with a shotgun. If somewhere along the line someone buys me a Fudge Round all of this can be averted.

So I went about today with a scowl on my jowls and bowels and was happy to hate the world. But I bought a ticket to see Jim Gaffigan earlier in the month and that was tonight. Bad timing, as I usually am not teribly receptive to comedy in a pissy state. But he cut through and got plenty o' chuckles outta me. I just wish I could have been a better audience member for him. On a good day, I would have given him much more laughs and he would have felt so much better about himself. But I did my best, and cracked up several times. My mind always acts confused when I'm having a bad day and something good happens. "What... laughter? Cut that out, your supposed to be wallowing! You call this sulking? How are you ever going to remain angry for days after the origin has become irrelevant at this rate? Damn you Jack." Yeah, well.

I hate going to things like this by myself, but I'm pretty much getting used to doing everything by myself nowadays. It was odd at a comedy show, because here I am, just some dude sitting alone laughing. Just all chortling and making silly noises all by himself. I dunno. It was a little odd. I was just a guy there, laughing away. Just laughing is all. Just by himself and laughing. That. Just a guy. There. That was me.

But also the seating was uncomfortable. Bleachers, dogg. Bleachers. What is that about. I felt like I was in high school again at some function such as a pep ralley or perhaps a principal telling us how our generation had failed the one previous. But instead I was actually at a function I wanted to be at. What was that about. Bleachers suck cuz how the hell do you sit in them is the question. There's no back. There's no place to put your legs/feet. Spine all bent forward, legs all scrunched or in someones way. And I don't know but you, but I needs to lean when I sit. I'm a leaner (I took the name of the thing I like to do and turned it into an adjective as a representation of what I am jus there, did you see that). But there's no logical way to lean or even sit regular on a bleacher. The best I could do was scrunch my pelvis into the Tetris game of the foot area and like put my feet upwards, using the seat behind me as a back (I don't know if I'm explaining this well). This sort of works except for the fact that it basically equates to grabbing your testicles and slamming them in a door then keeping it closed. Other than that it was... wel, still pretty uncomfortable. But anywho. He did the Hot Pocket bit and that is what people like to hear from him. I think maybe he did other jokes too. But I laughed and all was well. Here's to better days.